Boston & New England Wedding Photographer Deborah Zoe

Boston & North Shore Wedding Photographer creating timeless imagery for classic New England weddings with a fine art approach.

Wedding Love

deborah zoe photography stress free wedding day.jpg

Dealing With Street

I've always been a person to "stress out". Little details can often times send me over the edge, a symptom of my OCD tendencies. I have to say when it came time for my wedding, I wasn't too stressed, until the day of. I remember, for the first time ever, being handed a paper bag by my bridesmaid and sternly told, to "breath." Most of my anxiety was due to this HUGE LIFE CHANGING event taking place. But I'm also mature enough to admit that part of the planning had finally gotten the best of me.  

I remember crying as it rained, I remember being snippy with family during family formals, I remember being annoyed with Dave when he stepped on my dress and ripped it, I remember being REALLY annoyed when our exit song was played BEFORE we exited!! I remember seeing our centerpieces of florals without water.... and did it get to me! 

As I look back on it all, I just want to tell myself don't sweat the small stuff! When Dave and I look back on our wedding day, we remember what I said in the limo that night, "That was the best day EVER." And it really was. Nothing that could go "wrong" could have made that day any less perfect than it was. I'll remember that feeling forever.  

And that, that is what is MOST important on your wedding day. How you'll remember that day forever. How you'll remember how you felt on that day, what your spouse whispered in your ear, the people you got to hug. Not all the little things that went "wrong." So Brides, my plea to you is to just enjoy your day. I know, things can go wrong. Things can be cause for stress. But at the end of the day, those things truly don't matter. Your marriage does. And I'd rather see you with a BIG smile on your face when I'm taking your picture than one with a crinkled nose and a frown.  

Does that make sense? I know it can be hard to picture how you'll actually feel on your wedding day, but having now photographed lots of weddings and LOTS of Brides, I can say that the most successful weddings with the happiest couples, come from when the Bride and Groom decide to just let go and enjoy whatever the day throws at them. 

I enlisted the help of two of my Brides to share their experience on how they handled stress on their wedding day and how it made their day that much better and memorable!  

"From the first day we started to plan our wedding, Jon was the main reason that I kept (relatively) calm! I am usually the one that is all business and stressed out, but we promised from day one that the wedding was going to be about just that... us getting married. Everything else wasn't going to phase us. Once in a while, when little worries and details came up, we kept each other in check about not getting too worked up. On the big day, I spent an hour by myself in the morning to take a LONG shower and re-group. If I hadn't done that, it would have been very easy to get caught up in the excitement of the day, and of the rehearsal dinner the night before. I had hair and make up come to my bridal suite, along with my Mom, Mother-in-Law, and bridesmaids. I think it made a huge difference to not have to leave the room and *potentially* run in to my hubby-to-be the day of before we had intended to! We also had the restaurant deliver food... which I totally ate... and it totally helped :) Lastly, but most importantly, I smiled! ALL DAY! If you are stressed out, but smile your way through it, the negativity just can't help but melt away! Everything went perfectly on our big day according to Jon and I because we achieved our ultimate goal: getting married :) -- Diana

For me, there were two major things that I did in the very beginning of the planning process that relieved a ton of stress. The first was to set a reasonable wedding budget - this was key for all decisions that we made about the wedding day & reducing stress between my husband and I. But the biggest stress relief was hiring a professional wedding planner. I know some people think this might be a "waste of money" as my husband called it when I first suggested. However, it seriously saved my sanity and even he ended up agreeing closer to the end of the planning process. Working a full time busy job meant that I didn't really have the time I wanted to devote to all the little details. But my wedding planner did & she was fantastic! Plus she recommended the BEST vendors - we loved everyone that we worked with! This was also huge in relieving stress, especially on the day itself. I knew that I could trust my vendors to do their job and not have to worry about it because I chose wisely. Even my hairstylist told me I was one of the calmest brides he had ever worked with! On the day itself I got really nervous when it was time to get into my dress - reality set in! My husband and I had decided on a First Look and boy am I glad! As soon as I saw him, the stress melted away & I was elated! -- Amanda

Some tips to help with wedding day stress: 

1. Hire someone to think about all the little details for you!! And if you can't afford a planner in your budget, enlist the help of a family member or close friend who can "oversee" the flow and details of the day! Dave and I were the latter of the two, having a good friend help us throughout the day, and it was HUGE! She even carried my train! 

2. Schedule a spa appointment the week of the wedding. Undoubtedly the most stressful part of the entire planning process has to be the week before the wedding, when everything seems to come together all at once. If possible schedule a day for you and some of your ladies at the spa. Treat yourself to a massage, a pedicure, a facial, whatever it is that relaxes you. And if you're not one for the spa, just schedule a day out for you! One where you can get away from all the planning and just BREATH. I really wish I had done this! 

3. Remind yourself why your getting married in the first place! And no, it's not to have the perfect wedding! With planning, we can often get so caught up in the details, we forget what's most important in the first place : the marriage! Take some time to spend with your fiance, to mediate, to pray. Whatever it is that will help center you and bring you peace.  

For those who have been through this whole process before, what was it that allowed for a "stress free" (or relatively so) time on your wedding day or leading up to the wedding?! 

deborah zoe photography stress free wedding day.jpg

deborah zoe photography stress free wedding day.jpg

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by Deborah Parker