Photography Blog

Boston wedding photographer passionate about documenting exquisite celebrations rooted in family and one of a kind experiences. Based on Boston's North Shore.

Who Is The DZP Bride?

A Look At What She Loves

When visiting NYC several weeks ago Dave and I had a moment to grab a cup of coffee, a muffin and enjoy some much needed down time together. Grownup talk. We chatted about lots of things including my business. Having just photographed an engagement session in Central Park the day before, our conversation quickly turned to the amazing clients I have the opportunity to work with. We talked about what makes them unique and the different things that tie them together. It was a light bulb kind of conversation and it gave me an even better glimpse into the lives of my couples.

Often in business you are encouraged to study and get to know the customers that you are serving. Because, if you know deeply the kinds of customers you are serving (or want to serve), you can tailor their experience to give them an unforgettable service. As photographers we all cater to difference couples and different styles. So what makes a DZP Bride different?

DZP Brides vary in their jobs, their standard of living, their economic standing and more. But after a closer look I've noticed that there are certain things that tie each of these Brides together. For example, many are in professions that serve others, that work towards a greater good. And so it got me thinking, are there any other common denominators? Are there other things that DZP Brides have in common? Turns out there are!!Who Is The DZP Bride?

-- She is 25-35 years old.

-- She is an urbanite, often residing in a big city like Boston, New York or Chicago.

-- She is a working professional often pursuing a graduate degree while chasing after her dream profession.

-- Her chosen profession usually involves a service component, a job that serves a greater cause.

-- She is compassionate, empathetic and concerned for the world around her.

-- She is a planner and has an eye for detail. She loves shopping and putting together details for her outfits and home.

-- She appreciates quality and craftsmanship.

-- She is excited about her upcoming wedding but even more excited about being married to her best friend.

-- She loves to travel and experience new places and cultures.

-- She grew up in New England and loves historic charm and elegance.

-- Her upbringing directly reflects the person she is today from her values to her traditions.

-- She is deeply connected with her family and extremely loyal to her friends.

-- She loves any excuse to dress up in flirty heels and a skirt to twirl in.

-- She is very active and enjoys sharing hobbies like running with her fiancé.

-- She loves shopping with brands like J.Crew, Banana Republic, Loft, Kate Spade, but also loves a steal;).

-- She values photography, has an affinity for art and enjoys creative expressions.

... And on and on! Is this a complete list? Of course not. Every Bride has her own set of characteristics and influences that make her beautiful and unique in her own right. And 'm focusing on the Bride here... not that the Groom doesn't matter! He does very much!! But for this conversation I wanted to chat with the DZP Bride, the person I connect with most (I was a Bride once too!!).

It paints a pretty incredible picture right? I would say the recurring characteristic that jumps out most to me is her giving heart. She is passionate about caring for the world around her and I love that! Past or current DZP Brides... do you see any of this in yourself? Would you add anything to this list? I'd love to hear your thoughts!!

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4 Things Your Photographer Wants You To Know

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4 Things Your Photographer Wants You To Know

I have to say that I work with some of the most amazing people. And that's not just a throw away statement, it's true. Year after year I am continually amazed at the clients who come into my path. I have to pinch myself sometimes because I am beyond lucky to call these people clients and FRIENDS. Working with joyful, kind and all around wonderful people makes my job a rich and beautiful experience!!

For couples who have never worked with me before (or a wedding photographer in general for that matter!) sometimes there can be a sense of anxiety, there is an unknown element. Couples don't really know what to expect and what exactly it takes to craft a beautiful and natural image. That's where I come in and through our experience together I help guide my clients through what it will be like to work together. And so I thought I'd share the top four things that I tell all my clients to help them make the most of their experience in front of the camera! It's not just about pointing a camera at someone and making a picture. It's about a relationship and that's where I like to start. Make sense? Ok let's drive right in!

1. Trust Me.

I value our relationship together, as photographer and client. And in that relationship is a vulnerability that needs to be shared in order to capture you and your fiance as you truly are. I want you to feel safe and secure with me, knowing that I will take good care of you! Everything that happens in front of my camera is aimed at creating beautiful images, images where you look your best and where your true essence shines through. Trust me to take care of you and I promise you give you a great experience in return!

2. I want you to be lovey!

Your time in front of the camera should be special, memorable and meaningful. Being loving towards each other is a huge part of that! Maybe by nature you're not used to kissing your fiance in front of someone, especially someone you may have just met! Or maybe the fact of being in front of a camera makes you nervous and in return you are stiff and uncomfortable. But since you're trusting me and know that you're in a safe and inviting environment, you should feel free to be who you are with your fiance! Freedom to express yourself, to hug and kiss and play together. I want this to be a FUN time which means you can let down your guard and really savor this time together as couple!

3. I care about YOU.

If you haven't noticed a theme through this post, then let me declare, "I care about YOU!" You're more than just clients, truly. I care about you, I care about the process, I care about giving you a great experience. On the wedding day I am excited to be there to witness as you read your vows, as you share your First Kiss, as you are roasted by your Bridal Party. It is an honor to be a part of something so intimate and special. I don't want to be seen as just another vendor showing up on your wedding day. I care deeply about each couple I have the privilege to work with and my hope is that your images and experience demonstrates that every way!

4. I need TIME.

In order to create beautiful images, it takes time. Sometimes it takes a few moments for you find your groove, to receive direction, to be posed. It's a delicate process that is better served with time and space to breathe. Nothing will make you more stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera, than if you feel rushed, hurried or stress. No longer do you feel safe or at ease. Time gives us the flexibility to create a calm and inviting atmosphere and gives you the opportunity to let down your guard and feel comfortable. Images are not just "snapped away", they are carefully crafted!! That takes time and patience. Give your photographer the time they need to give you a great experience, to make sure you are taken care of and to ensure you'll walk away from your engagement session and wedding with beautiful images that are entirely YOU!

If you're a DZP client, then you know all these things;) You're already a master at posing and relaxing in front of the camera. If you're in the process of looking for your photographer or you just hired one but haven't had a chance to be in front of the camera, try to keep these things in mind. I guarantee that if you trust your photographer to take good care of you, if you're affectionate and loving toward your fiance and if you give your photographer the space and time to create, you'll walk away from your engagement session and wedding with images that you will cherish for the rest of your life!

I hope this helps you as you plan and prepare for your time in front of the camera! If you have any questions or thoughts please feel free to share them below or email me at deborah@deborahzoephoto.com -- can't wait to hear from you!

How A Baby Changed The Way I View Weddings

How A Baby Changed The Way I View Weddings

Before having a baby I was a wedding photographer and had been for several years. I had been to my fair share of weddings as a guests and as a professional providing services to the Bride and Groom. I had seen a lot when it came to weddings. And as a someone who had been married for several years (at that point) my connection to that place in life was feeling more and more distant.

Then one day I had a baby. And all of that changed. Now, as I move throughout a wedding day I am overcome, not by the big and obvious moments, but the little, quiet, in between moments. I imagine what it will be like to dance with my son on his wedding day. I watch as Moms are led out onto the dance floor by their grown sons and I know exactly what they are feeling. I am completely connected to the symbolism behind that moment because as a Mom, I get it. I'm honored to be there to capture those moments no for photography's sake, but because I'm creating something tangible that represents something so dear.

Being a parent has changed the way that I view weddings, it's changed the way that I document the day. I see much more clearly the deep family relationships that are present on a wedding day. I connect with those moments that seem so little but are really so big. I can imagine no greater joy in this world than standing by your child as they marry the one that they love. And I KNOW, the joy that it is to marry your best friend, to dream about what the future holds for you together. My hope is that I honor those connections in each image I capture. Being a parent affects everything that I do. That title has radically changed my world, for the better. I'm entirely grateful for the lessons Jonathan teaches me every day and how in turn, that allows me to be a better Mom, Wife, Friend and of course, photographer.

And you don't have to be a parent to understand the gravity of a wedding day. As photographers, as we move about life, mature, change, we'll connect in different ways to a wedding day. The key is understanding what we connect too and how that directly impacts the way that we document the day. What do you connect with on a wedding day? Why do you love photographing weddings? If you can answer this question you'll not only create beautiful images, but in your work, your clients, your photography, you'll begin to experience joy, beauty and love in everything that you do. Sounds cliche, but believe me, it's true..

How To Reduce Stress On Your Wedding Day

I work some amazing couples, some of the sweetest, most down to earth people you will ever meet. And I have to say, some of the most organized and cool, calm, collected types too!! It's always a joy to show up on a wedding day knowing you'll be greeted with happy, joyful people who are excited to get married!!

But let's face it, regardless of how organized or well-dispositioned one might be there is still room to experience stress on the wedding day. Having been a Bride myself and now wedding photographer, I've watched Bride and Grooms over the years taking mental note of what seemed to work...or not work... to enable a couple to enjoy a relatively stress free and FUN wedding day! Here are a few tips that I've learned along the way :

Smile.

Should a photographer really need to say this? Yes, yes I do. Perhaps it's because I'm guilty of this myself but when amidst a flurry of activity it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, smothered and conflicted. Emotions which don't exactly equate to a smile. If you find yourself leaning in this direction, SMILE. Your smile will not only change your attitude, outlook and feelings towards the situation but it will be infectious to those around you. And truly, is there anything more beautiful than a smiling Bride? I think not!

Time.

Oh time, elusive time. If there is one thing that I could recommend to all couples getting married it would be this : always plan for more time than you think you need. A wedding day is a RUSH of activity, people and responsibilities. Even the smallest weddings can still be full and busy. Planning for more time than you think you'll need ensures that even if something runs late, you've planned for it. It gives your vendors opportunity to serve you and provides a buffer for unexpected events like traffic, lost guests or a dress that won't quite bustle. You may not need that extra five minutes here and there but if you do, you'll sure be glad you planned for it!

More than you.

As a Bride or Groom you are the star of the show. After all, you're reason why everyone has gathered from near and far. But even so, a wedding day is not JUST about you. If that sounds counter cultural, well perhaps it is. But hear me out. You share your day with your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your friends, your loved ones. Each person has given of themselves to participate in some way to your day and each has a vested emotional stake in your wedding. So while they may do things or say things that can cause stress or anxiety, remember that they too are experiencing this day and are flooded with a range of emotions, often filled with pride to see you married. Stop and give them a hug, thank them and tell them how much they mean to you. Not only will it calm your nerves but it will leave a lasting impression and a memory you can both treasure.

Expectations.

It's important to manage your expectations on the wedding day and realize that even though you may have meticulously thought out every detail, something is bound to go "wrong." Wrong is such a harsh word because often times these are the things that create the sweetest kinds of memories. Case in point, while enjoying our First Kiss as a married couple Dave and I apparently exchange a bit of saliva (hey it was like 500 degrees in the church!). When we turned to face our guests a string of spit was connected between us, a string so large it was seen from the balcony and caught on camera! Definitely not something we were planning for and certainly something that could have caused undo stress. But looking back we just laughed and it has become a story that we fondly tell over and over again:) Try your best to roll with the punches, whatever may come your way. You never know, it could become one of your favorite memories!!

If you're a former Bride, what were some of the best tips given to you to avoid the dreaded wedding day stress? What did you learn from experiencing your own wedding that you can share with Bride and Grooms to be? Feel free to share in the comment box, I'd love to hear from you!

Are You Rested?

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On Saturday night, though exhausted, Dave and I went out for a date. My parents graciously offered to babysit and I managed to pull myself off the couch after a long day of errands and editing. I was tired, I didn't want to go, but we both knew that if we had babysitters we better take advantage!!

We ended up having a night out close to home, nothing fancy, heading to a local clam shack for some Americana and beer. While poking at our fish and my quickly disappearing margarita, I blurted out, "Do you just feel TIRED? Ya know, just burn't out?" Dave responded with a sigh, "Yes. It feels like we are going from one thing to the next. Oh and we never get to sleep in." Ha, how true THAT is.

All jokes aside, he was right. This time of year marks a busy season for both of us. I begin working what I call "insane" hours. Up early and to bed late. We both are working hard while taking care of a baby, a home and trying to see friends and family. So no wonder we feel as if we are going from one thing to the next! Are you in the same boat too? I have a feeling we are not alone, I hope! Busy, tired, being pulled from all directions? We all lead very busy and full lives. Often filled with very GOOD things but filled nonetheless.

My thought originally for this post was to talk about the importance of sleep in our marriages. How getting sleep not only helps to bring life to our bodies but to our marriages as well. We love, fight and live together more fully when we have our 8 hours of shut eye. But all this talk about sleep lead me to start thinking about REST. Rest for our souls, rest for our minds, rest for our spirits.

How do all of those things directly effect our relationship with our spouses? With the lack of restorative REST these last few months, I can see a direct correlation between my relationship with Dave. I'm more quick to snap a retort, to be impatient, more prone to arguing, frustration and irritability. It's just driven home the point that even in our busy seasons of life, its so incredibly important for us to take time to REST together. We desperately need that time to regroup, refresh and reevaluate. It's not always easy to find that time, but it is so incredibly important.

So I ask the question today, are you rested? No, not just your prescribed 8 hours of sleep, but I mean RESTED. Can you carve out an afternoon, a day, a weekend to spend with each other? Can you take a few hours for yourself to get away from the hustle and bustle of every day life? What are the things that bring you joy, that help you relax, that help you rest? It doesn't have to be fancy, extravagant or time consuming but make the investment in your relationships and sneak away, even just for a moment. I promise you, it will do wonders for your relationship and offer joyful rewards for years to come!Thank you to the lovely Coco of Krista Photo for capturing us "resting" in our home:) See more adorable pictures HERE!

Crafting Your Wedding Day Timeline

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This past weekend I had the pleasure of photographing Katherine and Brandon's wedding on the North Shore. It was a beautiful spring day, one of those magical wedding days that makes me fall in love with this job over and over again. As the day unfolded I noticed as everyone was incredibly happy! There was no stress, no rushed family, no confusion, just full enjoyment as the day happened. At one point Katherine's Mom asked how the day was going and if I was enjoying myself. My response? "Days like these are what wedding dreams are made of!"

What I believe made Katherine and Brandon's wedding day such a breeze were a few contributing factors. First they had an amazing attitude. They were simply overjoyed to be with each other, their family and their loved ones. They reveled in the experience of getting married and worried less about every detail being absolutely perfect. They were surrounded by joyful and happy people too, who helped to create a relaxed and happy atmosphere throughout the day. That kind of perspective allowed them to simply ENJOY every moment of their day!

But beyond a good attitude Brandon and Katherine had structure, a carefully crafted a wedding day timeline that left lots of room for stress free time together and of course PHOTOS! The couple, their family and their friends were never rushed and the timeline allowed everyone to relax and enjoy the day! So how do you go about creating a wedding day timeline that accounts for all the activities of wedding while creating space to breath and truly enjoy the day? Today I'm sharing my top tips on how to craft the perfect wedding day timeline!

For the Couple

*It's very important that you trust and listen to your photographer as they explain and walk through the timeline. You are working with a professional who will have extensive experience with wedding day timelines and are versed in how the day will unfold. They will provide valuable insight into any unexpected delays and how to plan a timeline that leaves lots of room for fun and joy on the wedding day!

*Know the parts of the day that typically run over time and pad in more time than you think you need. The last thing you want to experience is rushing through a part of the day and then subsequently feeling stressed.

*Communicate to your family and loved ones where they need to be and when on the day of the wedding which help to avoid anyone getting lost or holding up the timeline.

*Remember that artfully crafted images take time. Your photographer needs time to expose, direct, and take the kinds of images that they showcase on their blog and website. Listen to your photographer as they explain the time that they need to take various images throughout the day (for example the Family Portraits) and plan appropriately.

*With all this seriousness, don't forget to have FUN and remember what the day is all about : each other! As the day is unfolding and flying by, don't be afraid to take a moment with each other, to soak it all in and enjoy the moment together!

For Photographers

*Most importantly, stay calm. Wedding days are dynamic events with many moving pieces and it can be very easy to become overwhelmed. As the photographer you can help set the tone of the day through your own attitude while effortlessly adjusting to changes. Your clients are looking to you for a steady and reliable presence which you can do through your attitude and calm demeanor.

*Communicate clearly with your couple and explain exactly how much time you need to photograph their day. If you don't communicate exactly what you need, you can't expect to have it on the day of the wedding. Often times couples won't know exactly how much time photography will take on the wedding day. Help education them BEFORE the big day so you can have the time that you need to create beautiful images.

*Don't be afraid to lead and give direction. If you're not working with a wedding planner, often your role as the photographer is more than just a photographer. You maybe called to lead, direct, plan and wrangle people throughout the day. You'll need confidence to clearly communicate when speaking to the bridal party, when giving clear posing direction to your clients and when directing the family portraits. If you want things to move quickly and smoothly, help LEAD. Your clients will thank you.

*Communicate with any vendors who might be influenced by the wedding day timeline. If you're working with a wedding planner or a DJ for example, communicate with them before the wedding and so that you are all on the same page with regard to the timeline. If you need 30 minutes with the couple following the ceremony, clearly communicate that with the planner or venue.

*Be realistic and conservative with your time. Some wedding days leave LOTS of room for portraits (my FAVE!) but other days the timeline is more full with less time to wander and explore. Be realistic and know when it is appropriate to ask for more time and when it's not. After you've communicated how much time you need for the staple images (Bridal Party, Bride and Groom and Family) seek out opportunities for more portraits throughout the day whether that is sneaking out after dinner is served OR finding organic portraits as the day unfolds (like the couple walking away from the ceremony, traveling to the reception or just enjoying a quiet moment on the dance floor).

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I hope that this information is helpful to couples who are planning their wedding day and photographers who are helping to craft wedding day timelines for their couples! If you have any questions about how I organize the photography portion of the wedding day, please feel free to leave a comment below!

Marrying Your Best Friend

Being in the wedding world I hear a lot of reasons as to why people get married. And over and over again I hear couples stating that they are marrying their best friend. I love hearing this because friendships are a key brick in the foundation of a marriage. But if I'm being honest, it wasn't necessarily like this for Dave and I at the beginning.

There was a time just after we were married when Dave asked me if I was his best friend. I almost scoffed at the idea. Dave, my best friend? Sure he was my husband but my best friend had curly hair and watched endless hours of Sex and the City with me, we went shopping together and we lounged around drinking warm diet coke (because she hates ice). Dave was my husband, but he wasn't my best friend. I had a girlfriend who fit that roll and I left that part of my life separate from Dave.

Does that relate to anyone else? It wasn't necessarily intentional, but I never made the connection between husband and best friend in those early days of marriage. And truth be told it took a few years for the friendship part of our relationship to blossom. It took trips and experiences and life moments together to form the bond that we enjoy today. If asked now, I would whole heartedly say that Dave is my best friend, the person I couldn't do life without.

But how did we get there? We were intentional. We have spent much time investing in our relationship over these last (almost) eight year of marriage. And that investment has paid off in the formation and strengthening of our friendship. It's been those unexpected moments too that have brought us closer together as husband and wife. Like those moments where Dave is just so funny I laugh until I have a belly ache. Or where he surprises me with something that I love, just because. Or when he fights for me, supports me, encourages me, and challenges me. Our friendship has been the key to the success of our marriage. But more so, our friendship has made marriage FUN! We genuinely have fun together and it makes the everyday moments that we share together ones of joy. Now that we're parents that joy has exploded into evenings, days and weekends filled with tickles, laughter and smiles.

I still have my best girl friends, woman who are an integral part of my life and who encourage and shape me as a woman, wife and mother. Woman who I love dearly and am completely grateful for. However, Dave fits a roll that none of those ladies can or ever should. He is the person who I lean on, seek guidance from, confide in and give my life too. He is my best friend.

Sometimes you're friends before you get married. Sometimes you are best friends. And sometimes it takes a little while for that part of your marriage to be cultivated. It is very much worth the time and energy AND it doesn't have to be hard. It can simply mean sharing a memory, an experience, a laugh or a cry together. It's about building a foundation, one which you can proudly stand on together.

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Thanks to the lovely Coco of Krista Photo for capturing our ONE YEAR photos with Jonathan:)!

How To Style Your Engagement Session

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No doubt knowing how to dress and what to wear while being photographed can be a stress inducing task. Dave and I just had our family pictures taken over the weekend and I once again found myself riffling through my closet trying to find something to wear. Luckily our subject, a rowdy and wiggly one year old, helped determine much of what I could choose from. It had to be cute, loose and easy to move in. Phew, that's a tall order!

Being a photographer has given me ample opportunities to be in front of the camera for both professional and personal reasons. I've struggled, just as I know many Brides and Grooms have before me, with knowing what to wear and how to style my outfits! But I have found with experience comes knowledge and I've learned a thing or two about how to style sessions and outfits for a polished and tailored look.

Dressing for your engagement session doesn't have to be hard, in fact it should be fun! It's an excuse to do a little bit of shopping and to collect pieces that express your personality and style. Preppy, fashion forward, chic, ethereal, whatever your vision, the engagement session is the perfect opportunity to express that unique side of you. So how does that translate to your session? Here are my top five tips and tricks for styling your engagement session!

1. Accessorize!

Accessories are the easiest way to customize your outfit by adding interest and layers. I believe accessories are really where your personality and unique style can be showcased! Whether it's a watch, your favorite necklace, an heirloom piece of jewelry, or a splurge on designer heels, this part of your outfit is key in helping to pull the entire look together. When accessorizing keep in mind the feeling of your outfit, match chic accessories with a more formal dress or an every day necklace with a more casual outfit.

2. Layering.

Another tip I find to be helpful in adding interest and style to your outfits is by layering. Cardigans, scarves, jackets, blouses, are all great ways to add layer and depth to your attire. And this isn't just for the ladies! Men can easily do this as well through accessories like buckles and shoes then layering in a tie, sweater or jacket. For those colder months having layers adds a cozy and intimate vibe and encourages those cute snuggles between you and your fiance. In the summer months, using flow-y skirts and light blouses really adds to that warm and beach-y feel!

3. Use Texture!

I'm a girl that loves texture, as you can see it's all over my blog! I love the variety, depth and interest texture can create in life and I love using texture to create variety in an outfit. It's even more fun to photograph! Similar to layering, varying texture can create a feeling and vibe to your outfit. It can compliment the season or backdrop to your session AND it gives you something to do with your hands during! Go head and play with that soft scarf or tweed jacket. Have your fiancé wrap you in a merino wool bear hug. You get the idea;)! Texture = variety = depth = interest. (A side note, texture does not mean frayed, ripped or tattered. Keep your clothing well kept, tailored and clean. Trust me no one wants to see a big hole in the seat of your pants and neither will you!)

4. Flatter Your Shape.

One of the BEST tips I can offer for looking your best, is knowing what fabrics, cuts and styles flatter your shape. In fact I would encourage you to take pictures of yourself in varying outfits to find what truly best fits your body and shape. Often times what we see in the mirror might not necessarily translate to the camera so it is best to experiment well before your engagement so that you'll feel confident, sexy and beautiful when it's time for your session! Trust me, as a curvy girl I've learned this through experience. There are just certain things that do not flatter my body and when I know I'm going to be in front of the camera, I make sure to pick items that will enhance my best features and distract from the parts I'm not crazy about. Try on your outfits, use different combinations and pose a little bit in front of the mirror. Watch as the outfits move with you to really get a sense of how they'll enhance or distract from your best features the day of your session!

5. When in doubt, choose timeless.

Your engagement session is meant to capture this special time in your life, one that years from now you'll fondly look back on. And while I highly encourage Bride and Grooms to not be afraid to be fashion forward for their session (hey this is your excuse to dress up!), you also don't want to look back on your session and regret any trendy decisions you made. So if you're ever in doubt of what to wear, go timeless. Choose items like a pearl necklace or diamond earrings, pieces that will stand the test of time. I'm a HUGE fan of this necklace from Tiffany& Co., a gift from my husband after our son was born. It goes with almost every piece of clothing in my closet and has that timeless, classic feel. When in doubt, choose timeless!

*Bonus Tip! -- Think Movement!

I absolutely LOVE when a Bride chooses an outfit that moves with the breeze or allows her to be free and spirited;)! Nothing is more feminine or beautiful than a long dress or flow-y blouse. Plus it adds a chic touch to more classic staples like tailored dress pants. Think about how you'll be moving in your engagement session (I'm a huge fan of the twirling photo, guilty as charged;)) and how your outfit can compliment that! Nothing is more beautiful than layers of fabric that move with you!

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Any questions about how to style a session, send them my way! I love being able to help Bride and Grooms source, style and tailor their outfits for their engagement sessions. After all, the most successful engagement sessions are those that are cohesive in their vision and style, a true representation of you and your fiance!

What I Wish I Knew About Wedding Planning

What I Wish I Knew About Wedding Planning

This summer Dave and I will celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary (HOLLA!) which means it has been over eight years since I've planned a wedding. I still can remember what it felt like to plan such an event and how, at times, it was like a second job. There was so much to think about and organize. I was still in college when I was planning our wedding, a baby by today standards, I wed at age 22. I was one of the first of my close friends to get married and as an only child I had only been to a handful of weddings. I truly did not have any idea what I was doing. I learned so much in those nine months of planning and the subsequent years later of shooting weddings. Things that I try to pass along to my Bride and Grooms as they plan their weddings. Below are some of the things that I wish I knew when I was planning our own wedding.

Hire professionals.

Dave and I DIYed almost the entirety of our wedding. From the stationary to the flowers to the DJ'ing to the transportation, with the help of family and friends, we did the brunt of the work. And it was because that was what our budget could afford. There's nothing wrong with having a small budget, but looking back I think I would have dispersed the funds differently so to have the ability to hire professionals for the most important jobs of the day. Your wedding is a day that only comes around once and it ends with the blink of an eye. It is SO important to work with wedding professionals, people who know the wedding day inside and out, who can serve you on a day you never want to forget. No matter what your budget, hire professionals for the things that matter most, your memories will thank you.

Unplugged ceremony.

We wed in 2006, right before the cusp of the smart phone and the explosion of social media. (Can you believe I almost canceled my Facebook account in 2006 because no one was using it at the time?!). So when it came time for the ceremony, I never had to worry about guests whipping out their cell phones or iPads or fancy cameras to take pictures. Sure a family member or two took a few pictures here and there but for the most part they were present as we said our vows and shared our first kiss. Today it's such a different vibe, where almost every guest has technology at their fingertips. If you haven't already, consider having an unplugged wedding or at the least encouraging your guests to put down their phones for the ceremony. It truly is a magical feeling knowing that your friends and family are present with you during such an important moment in your life.

Timeline.

As a wedding photographer today I want to scold myself as a former Bride. I paid no consideration to our timeline and our photography while planning our wedding. Our ceremony and reception were at least 30 minutes apart and Dave and I did not choose to have a First Look. That meant we were rushed when it came time for our photography. Add in a very rainy and thunderous day and well, the conditions were less than ideal. Today I try to plan out almost every minute with my couples to ensure that they have enough time to capture the images they desire without adding undue stress to the wedding day. Knowing ahead of time how much time is needed for the photography as well as planning for travel and unforeseen interruptions throughout the day is crucial to having a smooth timeline and an enjoyable day together.

Consider a First Look.

Like I mentioned above Dave and I chose not to have a First Look for our wedding day. I don't even know if chose is the right word because frankly we didn't even know this was an option!! I was so nervous the morning of our wedding and I would have given anything to have seen Dave before hand. That time alone on our wedding day would have been very welcomed and appreciated! (I love the idea of a First Look so much, that when we took our anniversary session four years later we decided to have a "First Look". It was one of the most special moments, ever.) While I know that a First Look is not for everyone, it is worth considering if it fits the vision you have for your wedding day.

Vision.

It's amazing how Pinterest has altered the very fabric of weddings today. Sure wedding notebooks were huge when I got married but back in 2006, vision as it is related to a wedding day, was almost entirely about a singular color and not an over arching theme. I chose the color purple and based all our decisions around that. And while there is nothing wrong with that per say, pushing that vision further would have helped to pull all my details together. Pinterest had changed all that. Today Brides can truly theme their wedding around any idea that they choose and I highly recommend doing so. Having a vision creates cohesion between all of your details and choices related to the wedding day. Having a theme can communicate a clear message to your guests about what they day means to you and who you are as a couple.

Bride and Groom at Misselwood by Katelyn James.

When it came to our wedding day, there were things we did right and things I wish we could do over. There are things I know now, that I wish I knew then. But I know that all that experience and information has directly related to my clients today. I'm able to share what I've learned as a former Bride and now wedding photographer and pass that along to my Brides to ensure that they have the wedding and experience of their dreams. Our wedding was one of the best days of our lives, perfect or not, it paved the way for what I'm doing today!(Many thanks to Katelyn for this beautiful image from our amazing anniversary session!)

Comparing Our Spouse

It's the first Monday of the month so that means it's time for another Marriage Monday. For April I decided to tackle the topic of comparison. By now I'm sure you've seen the famous quote from Theodore Roosevelt, "comparison is the thief of joy", floating around the internet, particularly Pinterest, And there is probably a very good reason why : We like to compare. We like to compare our bodies, our clothes, our homes, our families, our friends, our entires lives to one another. It can become an unhealthy habit, and as a woman, I feel acutely aware of this habit in my own life.

When Dave and I were first married I was a horrible at comparing my marriage, husband and my life to those around me. Perhaps it was because I was young or perhaps its because we had not been married that long. I had no idea what I wanted in my marriage and so I would look to other couples and their relationships to find my inspiration. When Dave didn't match up to the husband I thought he should be, I was very critical and demanding of him.

It's a battle I struggle with still to this day and while I do it in all areas of my life, I'm highly aware of it in my marriage. As we've matured and grown together as a couple, the comparison games have eased, but there are still moments when this bad habit can rear it's ugly head. It's something that I am always aware of and now am quick to apologize for.

I think age and perspective has allowed me to see a larger picture of our marriage and how we each fit into that picture. Our relationship is very different from the relationships of those around us and its ok! Our marriage doesn't need to a fit a certain mold, trend or idea. Accepting that was hard, but there was so much freedom in being ok with who we are as a couple and as individuals.

If you find yourself comparing your husband or spouse to others stop immediately. Take a step back and try to take in the grander picture. Your spouse has been given to you as a gift, a partner to walk through life with, someone to teach you and encourage you. Your spouse was uniquely chosen and paired with you for a reason, because together you are better. Together you bring something truly wonderful to the world around you. Comparing each other robs us the joy and the gift that is our spouse.

Around The Table

A baby truly does change everything and in our marriage that couldn't ring more true. We suddenly have a new schedule, new priorities and new ways of doing things. One of those things being dinner.

In our old home our dining room was separated from the living room by the kitchen. It was tucked away, dark and really the only time we used it was when we hosted Thanksgiving. We often ate our dinners in the living room as we watched the nightly news. And in our defense most of the time it was because we were utterly exhausted but really that is no way to cultivate connective-ness with your spouse.

Fast forward to today. New home, new baby. Now we make it a priority to eat together almost every night, sitting down at a table, in the kitchen. There are placemats and dishes and glasses of water. No iPhones, iPads, or computers are allowed. The tv is often off, and if it's not, it's tucked away with the news on to gives us something to discuss.. And while it doesn't seem like it might, it's made a huge difference on our relationship.

As our baby munches on his dinner or just loudly plays in his high chair, Dave and I talk about our days, get caught up on life and just reconnect with one another. Because don't work together, we have extremely different daily lives and it's incredibly important for us to connect, even just for half an hour each day, and pull our lives back together.

Often, this time around the table is filled with laughter, smiles and pure joy. It's a reminder of all the things that we give thanks for, especially our precious family. It's a time where we can be vulnerable with one another and discuss the things that really matter. Does that mean I never talk about the grocery list or our upcoming travel plans or how Jonathan spit up on me 100 times that day? No, of course every day life is included. But the heart of this time to be with one another, cultivating togetherness.

In your own relationship, find that time. What is your "around the table" moment? It doesn't have to be dinner, it could be a midday coffee break, early morning prayer time or that afternoon phone call. The heart behind the time you make for each other is to demonstrate that the other person matters, that you care about their life, and that you desperately want to connect and grow together. It can be challenging and you may need to sacrifice something in order to make it happen. But make it happen. I bet you'll find that "around the table" moment becomes one that is precious and an important part of the day!

Marriage Mondays : Your Best Advice

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At the end of 2013, I decided to revive the Marriage Monday series here on the blog. As many of you know I am passionate about healthy and thriving marriages and wanted to combine my desire to see couples growing with my passion for photography. Any surprise I'm a wedding photographer? I'm in the business of marriage so to speak! There is so much out there about marriage, ranging from great advice to horror stories, a mix bag of words. It can be hard to find clarity when thinking about and preparing for marriage.

While this blog is not meant to be the final word on the subject, I did hope that I could use this platform to help encourage and inspire couples with inspiration and stories on marriage. Hence the series was revived and I'm excited for what this next year holds!

For this month's Marriage Monday I reached out to several friends who have been married a varying number of years. From a newlywed to a seasoned married woman, I asked each person to share the best piece of advice they have been given or have learned over their years of marriage. We're all a work in progress, but I felt that there was real wisdom shared here and I hope that their words can give you encouragement no matter what stage you're at in your marriage or engagement.

Marriage, no, RELATIONSHIPS, are hard work. But as you can see from the responses below, it is a relationship that is certainly worth our time and our effort. There is joy in the journey of walking hand in hand together through life's ups and downs. Read on to see what they had to say!

Kendra, married 4 years

Wife to Matt

Mama to Evelyn

Photographer

"A successful marriage is a continuous one, and most married folks figure this out pretty quickly. A thriving marriage takes much more effort, and this is where the work takes place. I love to work. It gives me purpose and makes me feel satisfied when I know others are benefited from my efforts. When Matt and I first got married we were a little intimidated by other people who told us that marriage was a lot of work. The truth is, it *is* a lot of work, but that's not a bad thing. Working on our marriage means not taking one another for granted. It means listening the other person when we don't feel like listening. It means holding hands when we walk on the sidewalk. It means saying no to a social obligation from time to time so we can cook dinner together and talk about our future over a glass of wine. It means throwing up the towel on our daily plans when our daughter needs both of us at any given moment. Working on our marriage takes time, patience and a lot of really worthwhile work."

Grace, married 11 years

Wife to John

Mama to Isabella and Mark

Writer

"One of the images that has stuck with us most is about conflict. When a dilemma comes up, it's not 'me vs. you,' fighting about the budget or a miscommunication, it's 'us vs. the problem.' We're together, on the same team, and the problem is out there. Sometimes it even helps to physically sit on the same side of the table (eye contact can be a little intense when you're mad!), and say the cheesy-but-true words, 'I'm on your side. We're a team, and we can figure this out together.'"

Alicia, married 9 months

Wife to Adam

Wedding Photographer

"Give 110% of yourself, unconditionally, every morning of every day of every week of every month (we haven't made it to the years yet!). Even when you might feel like giving up or don't feel like your spouse deserves it, give and serve 110%. It makes the world of a difference!"

Danielle, married 7 1/2 years

Wife to Chris

Mama to Caleb

Writer/Mom/Physical Therapist

"The best advice my husband and I ever received came from my Mom. She had a challenging life with many surgeries and medical procedures and passed away suddenly in March 2009. On our wedding day, she told us no matter your circumstances, always work together, and work hard for one another. Through all of our ups and downs, I always draw strength for her simple truth: marriage is so worth the hard work."

Katelyn, married 3 years

Wife to Michael

Mama to Bokeh;)

Photographer

"My best piece of advice for newlywed couples would be to stop comparing your marriage to everyone else's relationship! Your marriage is never going to look like your best friend's marriage or your sister's marriage. It's yours and it's unique. Expectation management is key to a great marriage!! I learned this the hard way. I would advise all newlyweds to talk about what they expect from one another.. especially the first year! Our first year of marriage I realized that my expectations about our new life together were really different from Michael's. Life became a lot more enjoyable once we learned how to talk about our expectations and manage them in a healthy way!"

Sue, married 35 years

Wife to Pete

Mama to Three, Grandma to 5

Administrator for a UK Charity

"When setting out on married life it's the big things we think about. Where will we live, might we go abroad? Will we have children, how many, boys or girls? Can we afford to buy a home? 35 years on and looking back it seems to me it's the 'small' things that have built our marriage. Honesty in the little things; kindness through difficulty; smiles, hugs and cups of tea; being the first to say 'sorry' and the last to criticize. When we said 'I do' to each other, we had no idea what those 'do's' would involve or cost. But, looking back over the past 35 years the things that 'cost' me the most have paid the best of dividends!"

Debbie, married 7 (almost 8!) years

Wife to Dave

Mama to Jonathan

Photographer/shower singer

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"I'm not sure if it is advice but one of the greatest things that has helped our marriage thrive over the years has been laughter. My mom would attest that she can make me laugh, even when I'm raging mad. She must have taught this trick to Dave because he has this uncanny way of making me burst out laughing, even if I don't want to be. Laughter is what has kept our friendship alive and has given us great joy, through the good times and the bad. We enjoy each other. We delight in each other. And while our relationship is not perfect; we still annoy, hurt and frustrate each other, laughter has been the medicine to bring us back together when we drift off course. Life is too short to take so seriously. I pray that our marriage brings us many smiles (and belly laughs) for the rest of our lives."In marriage related news, our church will be hosting a one day marriage retreat. I wish we could go! Get more info here.

Marriage Mondays

The Yearly Marriage Review

In 2013 I started a blog series titled Marriage Mondays, with my aim to encourage married and engaged couples alike with stories, experiences and advice that have encouraged and inspired me in my own marriage throughout the years. And for the first half 2013 I was very good about keeping up with the series until our son was born. After his birth blogging was very difficult to keep up and so this series took a back seat.

Throughout the year though, I have always held a dear place in my heart for Marriage Mondays. Healthy and thriving marriages are something that I'm passionate about and incorporating that into my blogging and business model is very important to me. I want to celebrate marriage, encourage newly engaged couples and equipped married couples to live happy, healthy and thriving marriages, all while taking pretty pictures!

As I thought about the new year I was determined to revive Marriage Mondays but I had to do so it in a way that I could do it well. What that looked liked was changing the Marriage Monday series from every Monday to just one Monday a month.

And so, to kick off a new year of Marriage Monday's I'm sharing about a Year End Review that my husband and I "conducted" over the Holiday break. He brought up the idea of doing something like this after reading an article in the Wall Street Journal so in his eyes, it's cool;). We took advantage of a car ride up to New Hampshire over the holidays to hash out our year together in 2013.

We had never really done something like this in our seven plus years of marriage and despite what I thought it was actually quite therapeutic! We discussed what worked, what didn't and what we we're looking forward to in 2014. And after the year that we've had with it's many ups and downs, challenges and joys, it was a needed task to take inventory on our relationship, where it was and where it's going.

A few of our What Worked:
-- The biggest theme we came across as we discussed our marriage this year was teamwork. From pregnancy, to the birth of a child, to late nights with a newborn, to a growing infant, to running a business, to selling, buying and moving a home, to living life together, we were faced with many challenges (and joys) this year. We worked together not only facing and conquering each hurdle but strengthening our relationship as well.
-- We planned well this year. We made goals and worked through actions to make them happen.
-- We set boundaries for our family, our time and our relationship with the hope that these boundaries or guidelines would strengthen our core family and marriage.
-- Our friendship. Both Dave and I were pleasantly surprised to look back on this year and see a friendship that has continued to blossom and thrive.
-- I felt an overwhelming amount of support from Dave this past year, especially as I thought about my pregnancy and the birth of Jonathan.

A few of our What Didn't:
-- While boundaries are one of the things that worked, it is an area that still needs to be worked upon. We are still finding our groove as a family unit and are still learning the things that are appropriate for our family and when we just need to say NO to things, events, and people.
-- Our communication was an up and down struggle, certainly because we were TIRED. We need to learn how to communicate better when we are upset instead of falling into old habits.
-- Relational intimacy had a tendency to be forgotten, especially when we were in the midst of late night feedings and diaper changes. We're looking forward to more quality time together in the coming year, hopefully with a baby who likes sleep 12 hours at night;).
-- Our faith plays a huge role in our marriage but this year, as we dealt with the arrival of a baby, our jobs, and moving, spiritual leadership took a back seat. Dave and I will be seeking to be more proactive in finding ways to inspire and encourage each other in our faith this year.

A few of our What's Next? Our S.M.A.R.T goals. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely):
-- We will be meal planning and grocery shopping on Sunday evening, for four healthy meals a week.
-- We will be doing quarterly marriage check ins as we have enjoyed this process! They will happen on the first of the month.
-- We will be reading one marriage book together this year, most likely at bedtime. We're looking into The Meaning of Marriage. I'd like to start this winter and finish by Jonathan's birthday.
-- We are looking into ways to serve at our church as a couple, as a family and as individuals.

Having never done something like this, I could say that before we took part in our Year End Review, I never really saw the benefit of doing so. But afterwards I can safely say that it will become an integral part of our relationship, we even discussed doing a mini check in quarterly. One of the biggest ways that we can help our relationship grow, mature and blossom is to foster open communication with each other and to carve out a singular path to walk on together. The Year End Marriage Review is a fantastic way to do so, as it allows each person to express their thankfulness, their concerns and their dreams for the future. Doing this activity not only gave us something to talk about together, but it also put our minds and hearts on the right track when we thought about our relationship. Since our marriage is one of, if not the most, important parts of our lives then it deserves the time and review.

We tried to keep it lighthearted and offered heaping amounts of grace and gentleness. (Though I will admit talking through What Didn't Work was a little rocky). At the end of our car ride as we reached Dave's parents, we were smiling. We hugged and thanked each other for this year. A year that has brought so much change to our relationship and family. I can truly say that we are very excited to see where 2014 will bring us, as a couple and as parents! Our Marriage Year End Review, an idea that helped us to both see how much we have to be grateful for in each other and who we are together.
Marriage Encouragement on Marriage Mondays Deborah Zoe Photography

Wedding Love

Natural Light Photography

I've talked about it at length over the last few years, but the timeline of a wedding day is a HUGE factor to consider when planning out the day. And one issue I have found that comes up frequently is that couples can often forget to factor in things like sunrise and sunset. Meaning they'll try to plan for pictures when we simply cannot take them or during a time that is just not optimal.

Because I am a natural light shooter, meaning I like to use natural light instead of things like flash (artificial light), there are certain times of day that I can shoot. And while I have all the gear and knowledge to use artificial light if we needed it, it's simply not my preferred style and NOT what couples expect of my work from their wedding day. It's incredibly important to plan around the best possible natural light during the wedding day so that we can ensure any couple that they'll have the kind of images they are expecting from their day.

Long before the wedding day we need to be communicating about the timeline, times for sunrise and sunset, and exactly how much time we'll need for photography on the day of. This is especially true for those getting married in the winter or fall months here in New England. During the spring and summer, the sun sets quite late and it's very lovely! Meaning that a couple could have a later ceremony while still having enough time for photographs (with good light!) in between the ceremony and reception. But in those finicky winter and fall months the sunsets VERY quickly and VERY early in the day. So if a ceremony is planned for later in the day our opportunities for natural light following the ceremony are extremely limited, if non existent.

It is my job to know good light and to also help educate the Bride and Groom on what to expect on their wedding day! This means that I need to help them look at their timeline and explain exactly what I need in order to create beautiful images!! This communication (that is often happening MONTHS before the wedding day) allows us to change any thing we need to while giving the couple a clear idea of what their day will look like. If they cannot move things around, I've already communicated to them what this means photographically and how their images may be affected by this.

To recap, I'm a natural light photographer. This doesn't mean that I only shoot outdoors. It just means that I use whatever natural light I have available to me, especially during the portrait times of a wedding day. My style is clean, fresh and natural and natural light is my favorite way to accomplish that style. What this means for your wedding day, is that we need to plan ahead for the best natural light during the day. Of course I can work in ANY lighting condition and I have! But what you see on my blog and on my website is primarily portraits and images created by using natural light.

The best way to create a GREAT experience on your wedding day and to capture beautiful images for your clients is to have clear communication before the wedding day. Helping to manage expectations from a Bride's perspective and also from a photographer's can go a long way to ensuring that you both get exactly what you want from the day! So as you plan out the day, remember to factor in how long something takes, where it will be taking place and just exactly where the sun will be in the sky!

If you have any questions about how I plan out the day or WHY I need a certain amount of time for something please feel free to leave any comments or questions below! Happy Wednesday!!

Wedding Love

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First Look Reactions

You all know that I am shamelessly in love with a wedding day First Look. There is just something so incredibly magical about a couple seeing each other for the first time on their wedding day! Something that is made even more special and meaningful when the couple is allowed to do so in a private moment. Of course there are a myriad of reasons why a couple might choose to see each other before the ceremony, but think there is one reason that trumps them all, the reaction.

When you see each other alone, privately, without guests or family huddled around, you are carving out time in your wedding day for just the two of you. A time when you can express your emotions, thoughts, and feelings that surround such a momentous day to each other!! And what Bride doesn't love seeing the reaction of her Groom as he sees her for the first time?! Because these are private moments, Grooms are much more willing to express themselves in a way they might not otherwise. In a much more swoon worthy way I might add!!

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I think these sequence of images speak for themselves as to why a First Look is a great choice. A beautiful Bride and a beaming Groom. Swoon worthy indeed!!I'd love to hear from you if you had a First Look!! Did you love seeing the look on your Groom's face? What was your favorite part?!

Wedding Love

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A Fab Pair of Shoes

Today's Wedding Love is short and sweet. It's all about shoes. What girl doesn't love a fabulous pair of shoes? And what better day than your wedding day to splurge and get some beauty for your feet! You go all out on your dress, flower, bouquet, jewelry and that should certainly extend to the shoes that you wear on your wedding day!! Bright, colorful, bedazzled, strappy, kitten healed, you name it the options are endless!

Like I've mentioned before it's the little details that help to tell the story of a wedding day. It's the little details that add interest to wedding albums and wedding portfolios. And yes that includes your shoes! Maybe it's the girl in me, but I love a beautifully composed photo of the shoes (and guess what, Brides do too!) Many of my Brides will splurge on a beautiful pair of shoes to be photographed while keeping a more practical pair handy to wear throughout the rest of the day. Comfort and style together!

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So if you've always wanted a pair of Kate Spade shoes or a fabulous pair of Jimmy Choo heels, your wedding day is the PERFECT excuse to spoil yourself (and make your photographer squeal with delight:))!

Marriage Mondays

Real Life Is Better

Watching the CBS Sunday Morning show is standard tradition in our house. Call me an old lady but I think the soothing voice of Charles Osgood is the perfect way to start my Sunday! The past weekend commentator Luke Burbank gave a few thoughts on the recent Manti Te'o scandal. And yes I know, you're probably thinking what does THAT have to do with Marriage Monday? Well, I think Burbank gave some sweet and simple relationship advice while commentating on what has become a national scandal.

I think we can all say that we've been there. Conjuring up an imaginary significant other who can do no wrong and who loves us perfectly. But that's not real life is it? But truly who would want it to be? Our imperfect relationships are far more perfect than any imaginary person we could think up. Our very real significant others give us love, support, encouragement, affection and a sense of belonging. Can an imaginary figure do that?

So while Daniel Craig can swagger through my television screen, I'll take my real and imperfectly perfect marriage any day. Bad breath and all.

Wedding Love

Breaking Down The Family Formals

Welcome Wednesday and this week's installment of Wedding Love! Today I wanted to talk about Family Formals. Yes, I take family pictures and yes I feel they are an incredibly important part of the day! I was a Bride once and I remember just how important these pictures were to me! Today as a wedding photographer I try to plan this area of the day as much as possible in advance so that I make sure I can do the best job possible photographing these images for the Bride and Groom.

Before the wedding day I will have a Family Formal consultation with each couple, reminding them that we have 30 minutes planned into the day to capture these images. I have this system down to science and find that I can capture the combinations listed below in 30 minutes or less. If the the Bride wants to add to this list, then we must allot more time in the day for more. However, for most couples, this is an extensive list and many find that this suites their needs just fine!

I also encourage couples to do their Family Formals all together. While I can certainly take pictures throughout the day, taking them all in the same location at the same time with the same light creates a cohesive feel through all their Formals. It also decreases confusion for family members as they know when and where they should be on the wedding day!

Which leads me to my next point: communication. Because I have the conversation about the Timeline and the Family Formals weeks before the wedding day, the Bride and Groom can communicate to their family in advance of the wedding day where they need to be an when! I can't tell you how much this helps, especially when it comes to elderly family members!! It helps to eliminate "lost" family and "lost" time as we try to round everyone up.

Below is the list that I send to every Bride and Groom to start the conversation. Often times this list will change, just slightly, to meet the needs of the Bride and Groom. As every family looks different their Family Formal lists will look different.

Bride with Mom

Bride with Dad

Bride with Mom and Dad

Bride with Mom and Dad add siblings

Bride and Groom with Mom and Dad add siblings and significant others or families

Bride and Groom with Mom and Dad

Bride with Siblings

Bride and Groom with Siblings

Bride with Grandparent(s)

Bride and Groom with Grandparent(s)

Bride and Groom with Bride's Immediate Family (Parents, siblings and significant others or families, Grandparents)

Bride and Groom with Bride and Groom's Immediate Family (Both sides parents, siblings and significant others or families, Grandparents)

Bride and Groom with Bride's Parents and Groom's Parents

Groom with Mom

Groom with Dad

Groom with Mom and Dad

Groom with Mom and Dad add siblings

Groom and Bride with Mom and Dad add siblings and significant others or families

Groom and Bride with Mom and Dad

Groom with Siblings

Groom and Bride with Siblings

Groom with Grandparent(s)

Bride and Groom with Grandparent(s)

So for me, the key to making sure the Family Formals are fun and stress free is communication and planning ahead! I want to make sure that I can capture these images for each Bride and Groom without spending all evening doing it! And a reminder to the Bride and Grooms out there planning this part of their day, you don't need to have a million combinations to please every member in your family. Think about the combinations that would mean the most to YOU and then go from there. The sooner we get done with these Formals the faster you can get back to the party!!

planning family formals deborah zoe photography

Wedding Love

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Getting Ready Details

Happy Wednesday everyone! It's time for another Wedding Love and today I wanted to chat about the Getting Ready portion of the wedding day. And apologies to any gentlemen reading this, I'll only be tackling the Bride's getting ready time of the day! Yes, yes, I know you are SO disappointed :-P !

When I first started shooting weddings I would ALWAYS look to other photographers to see what they were doing and inevitably I always saw amazing pictures of the wedding dress, the veil, the shoes, the bouquet etc. And with great intention I would go into every wedding day with huge expectations that I would be able to capture these same types of images. But guess what happened? I'd show up and the Bride would be running 30 minutes late or we would only have 30 minutes to document the getting ready portion of the day which left next to no time to be able to photograph these important details. I would leave frustrated and stressed and with mediocre of the dress, the veil, the shoes, and sometimes no pictures of these things at all. NOT ACCEPTABLE.

After almost a year of the same situation at EVERY wedding I decided that something needed to change. How could I, the photographer, help to make this situation less stressful, more enjoyable and more productive for not only me BUT the Bride and her ladies as well? Clear communication.

Now, LONG before the wedding day, I sit down to talk with the Bride to chat about exactly how much time I need to have in order to photograph the day well and to avoid any stressful points that might arise. I also explain to her where she needs to be and when in order to make this all happen. For explain, I'll communicate to her that I need around 2 hours to be with the Bride and her ladies as they get ready. I explain that I need time to delicately place the dress, the bouquet, the veil, the shoes etc and I need time to photograph these things. I explain that getting into her dress might take quite a bit of time, more than she expected. By doing this we go into the wedding day with a timeline that allows me to photograph all of her important details, keeps this portion of the morning stress free (for the Bride!) and leaves us some wiggle room in case anything runs late!

In addition to giving clear timeline expectations I also send an email to each Bride about a week before their wedding day reminding them of what details I will be photographing the morning of the wedding and how to prepare them. This is especially helpful for Brides who might be traveling in for the wedding. Since many of my clients live out of state, giving them enough time to prepare these details and pack them appropriately is very important!

Here are the details that I will typically shoot on a Wedding morning:

-- The Dress

Obviously the dress is ONE detail that a Bride won't forget on her wedding day!! If you're a Bride, t's important to plan enough time for me to photograph the dress! Sometimes I like to move the dress to location with beautiful natural light and little to no distractions. This takes time and requires me to be slow and delicate with the dress. I never want to rush this part and I often have my second shooter or a Bridesmaid along with me to help out. And one last tip... ladies for the love all things beautiful, PLEASE have a sturdy and pretty hanger to put your dress on!! Your gorgeous dress deserves more than the plastic hanger that came from the shop!

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-- The Veil and Hairpieces

Along with the dress brides will often have their veil but might have their hairpiece tucked away in a suitcase. Make sure to have all appropriate details OUT and READY to be photographed when I arrive! That way I don't have to bug you, the Bride, for anything when I arrive!

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-- Heirlooms/Special Details

This applies to heirlooms and special details as well. If you have a family hankerchief or rosary or Bible etc, have those out and ready to be photographed!! And let me know BEFORE the wedding day that these are important and need to be photographed! That way I miss nothing!-- Invitations/Stationary

If there is one thing that Brides seem to always forget on their wedding day is their stationary! I often suggested that Brides pull together all of their stationary pieces into a file or bag and have it out and ready to be photographed come the morning of the wedding. -- Jewelry/Accessories

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Wait to put your jewelry on!! I often incorporate the jewelry (necklaces, earrings, accessories) with pictures of the veil or the invitations etc. They add a little bit of bling to your images and help create a cohesive feel through all the pictures. -- Rings

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I try to encourage all Brides to have her engagement ring, wedding ring and her husband to be's ring with her as she gets ready. I like to photograph all three rings TOGETHER and if the couple is having a First Look, a Bridesmaid can easily give the rings to the Best Man before the ceremony. -- Shoes

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What girl doesn't love a fab pair of shoes? And what girl doesn't want an amazing picture of her fab shoes?! Even if you only wear this pair for a small portion of the day it's still an important detail that needs special attention! (Can you tell I love shoes?!)-- Bouquet/Florals

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If you're having a First Look, you'll need to have your bouquet delivered to where you are getting ready and it's important to have it delivered with enough time to be photographed. Again this is not a detail I want to rush through and it often needs a little planning to find a good spot for the florals. Communicating this to your florist before the wedding day is very important. PLUS it gives me time to get a few pictures for the florist of all their beautiful work!-- Gifts

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In the case below it was a gift for her Mom, but often Bride and Grooms will exchange cards or gifts. And of course you want those photographed!! So if you are exchanging gifts, let me know. Don't rush through opening it, have it beautifully documented to remember! For me this one of my favorite parts of our wedding day, seeing pictures of my husband open the card and present I sent to him while he got ready!-- Perfume

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It may seem silly to photograph a bottle of perfume, but all these little details add up to one big picture from your wedding day! These "small" images help to create a big picture story from your day!There you have it, a little help to better plan and prepare for the Getting Ready portion of your wedding day! Here's a recap of all the things that I like to take time to document as you get ready!

Dress

Veil/Hairpiece

Heirlooms/Special Details

Invitations/Stationary

Jewelry/Accessories

Rings

Shoes

Bouquet/Florals

Gifts

Perfume

Wedding Love

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Prepping For Your Engagement Session

You could say I'm an OVER communicator... probably to the point of annoyance with my couples. But I have found that the more I can communicate the better prepared and confident my couples are when it comes to their wedding day. And this is incredibly true of their engagement session.

To help my couples prep for their session, I send a very long and detailed email that explains my goals for the shoot, what to wear, how to pick a location and more. When I first started shooting engagement sessions, I expected my clients to show up to their shoot knowing exactly how to plan and what to do. And guess what, that never happened! After I got over my over-communication fear I decided that emailing my clients BEFORE the session does wonders to help them prepare, know what to expect and allows them to relax and have fun because they know that everything has been taken care of!

prepping for your engagement session deborah zoe photography

So to all those Bride and Grooms out there planning for their engagement session (especially my lovely couples!) here are some of the tips that I have found most helpful when planning!Location:

Location is very important when thinking about your session. I often advise couples to think about a place that has special meaning to them, whether it be a park that they visit every weekend or the downtown Bistro where they first met. Your location doesn't HAVE to be special but it will make your images more personable and meaningful! Don't worry if you think a place or an idea seems completely out of reach. The more we can make the engagement session about your uniqueness as a couple the more connection you will have to your images!

Finally don't be afraid to check out locations ahead of time. And remember that locations don't have to be perfect or "pretty", so don't be afraid to think outside the box. Please make sure that the location you have chosen allows photography and does not have any visiting restrictions.

Attire:

Often your attire will be dictated by two things: your personality and the location of your session. Choose clothing attire that you feel confident and comfortable in, whether that be a black cocktail dress and heels or a tailored pair of jeans and flats. When dressing each other, choose colors, patterns and styles that are not matchy-matchy. Your goal is to compliment your fiancé's clothing choice. Select colors, fabrics and textures that are complimentary to your hair and skin type as well. Finally, remember your location when dressing for the session. High heels and a cocktail dress may look out of place at the beach, but would be perfect for an urban environment.

Makeup and Hair Styling:

Brides will ask if they should have their hair and makeup professionally done for the session and I often give an enthusiastic "YES!" in response! Professional hair and make up artists know how to make you look your best and will help you photograph well. They will enhance your best features helping you to feel beautiful and confident in front of the camera! You truly cannot beat the results from a professional hair and make up team! Many of my Brides will use the engagement session as a way to have a trial run of their Wedding Day hair and makeup! This is a great way to get a trial in, see how it translates on camera and make any changes you need before the Wedding Day!

If you choose to do your own hair and your make up keep these things in mind. Simple makeup can be hard to register in camera. Don't be afraid to apply your makeup more heavily than you normally would. While you don't want to go overboard, you do want to make sure that your makeup stands out and enhances your best features on camera. Typically this requires more makeup than you might be used too.

Also, for all the ladies, bring extra bobby pins or other styling products such as hairspray to help fly away hair and help your hair stay in place. Often couples will bring an extra bag with them to carry outfit changes, hair accessories, shoes and more.

Personalization:

An engagement session can be a great opportunity to add in personal touches that are meaningful to you. Examples could be your favorite sports jersey or hat, a sign with your wedding date, musical instruments, your favorite books, a pet and more! Again, I want to make sure that the engagement session highlights your uniqueness as a couple and is personalized to you!

Prepping Your Groom:

Let's face it, most men don't like to be in front of the camera! For many couples this will be the first time that they've spent in front of the camera in such a substantial way! Help your Groom feel more relaxed by sharing with him engagement sessions that I've photographed before. He'll see other Grooms looking good, having fun and enjoying the afternoon with their fiancé! This is a great way to ease expectations and calm any nerves!

Time:

It's important to remember to make sure to be on time! I'm a natural light photographer so the sun will dictate how long I can photograph you! Please take into consideration traffic, transportation, hair or makeup delays, and fashion emergencies! On average an engagement shoot will last between 1.5-2 hours so if you show up late, the shoot does not get extended but rather ends at the scheduled time. I want you to have the best experience and photographs possible and being on time helps to achieve this!!

Getting The Most From Your Session:

Come to your engagement session ready to relax and have fun! This is a carefree time that you should look forward to! It's an excuse to spend the afternoon with your fiancé celebrating your future together. Often couples will make a day of it, going out to dinner or a movie afterwards! Come ready to be affectionate, laugh, and play!

So there you have it, my best advice to help couple's plan and prepare for their engagement session! If you're a Bride, is there anything else you'd like to know on how to make the most of your session? If you're a photographer how have you helped your client's prepare for their session? I'd love to hear!! Happy Wednesday everyone, stay warm! It's COLD out there!