Boston & New England Wedding Photographer Deborah Zoe

Boston & North Shore Wedding Photographer creating timeless imagery for classic New England weddings with a fine art approach.

Working Through Mommy Guilt

The Art of Balance Dealing With Mommy Guilt.jpg

Working Through Mommy Guilt

I'm taking a step out with a very personal post today. I'm chatting about Mommy Guilt. If you're a Mom then you know exactly what I am talking about. If you're not, well then let me explain. As a Mom (whether you are a business woman, stay at home, work from home, have a side business, work for the "man", travel a lot etc etc) then you can often feel the pang of what I refer to as Mommy guilt. A guilt brought on by the idea that you are simply not good enough. You're not doing the best you can at being a Mom. And as ridiculous as it sounds, Mommy guilt can be paralyzing, debilitating, depressing and just all around awful.  

We want the best for our kids, all parents do. When we can't live up to the very high expectations that we (and Pinterest) set for ourselves then, well we are most often prone to Mommy Guilt. For me that comes in the form of sitting in my office. I become acutely aware of the fact that someone else is taking care of my child while I answer emails, edit pictures and do my every day office work. And though I know I'm called to and passionate about the work that I'm doing, there's a sneaky and manipulative voice that creeps through and whispers, "You are not good enough."  

This kind of topic, not specifically related to Mommy guilt but connected, came up while I was giving my Art of Balance talk at the Boston PUG a few weeks ago, in the question of how do you do it all? The simple answer is, I don't. I have a lot of help. I can't do it all and if I tried I would fail. I would be plagued with epic bouts of Mommy guilt, and I don't know if I would even be able to come up for air. The only way that I can balance being a Mommy to my favorite little man while running a business that I love is through hard decisions and a whole lot of help.  

I only take on a select amount of weddings a year, I only work with people who I love and who respect what I do. I'm selective in the hours that I work a day and the kind of boundaries I establish between my business and my personal life. It's the only way I know how to be a Mom and a business owner. It's the only way I know how to serve my family and my clients well.  

But despite all that I do to manage life, well, life happens. Things don't always go to plan and that pang of Mommy guilt can creep back in. I don't write this to garner any pity. More of a hope that there are other Mom's out there who feel the same way. (I know there are!) My hope is that I can encourage you with this. You are enough. Your are taking the best care of your child. Your child is loved. Establish your boundaries, your routines, your daily life, so that it reflects what matters most to you. And if you ever feel that pang of Mommy Guilt creeping in, know that there is an army of Mommies who stand behind you and support you.  

Well at least THIS Mommy does. We're in this together. Down with the Mommy Guilt! Here's to building businesses that truly reflect what matters most and to all the Moms (and Dads) out there doing the hardest and BEST job of all.  

The Art of Balance -- Working Through Mommy Guilt by Deborah Zoe Photography

The Art of Balance -- Working Through Mommy Guilt by Deborah Zoe Photography

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by Deborah Parker