Boston & New England Wedding Photographer Deborah Zoe

Boston & North Shore Wedding Photographer creating timeless imagery for classic New England weddings with a fine art approach.

8 Years of Marriage Lessons

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8 Years of Lessons

Today is the first day in July and it also happens to be a Monday, so you know what that means : Marriage Monday!! July is our anniversary month, July 21rst to be exact. This year we'll be celebrating eight years of marriage together. Eight years, wow...that's almost a decade. To those who have been married much longer, you probably think that we're still babies at this whole marriage thing (we totally are). And to those who have been married for only a year or two it might seem like we're old married farts (which we happily are;)). 

As we drove home last night I asked Dave what are something things he thinks we have learned over these last eight married years together. It was fun to talk together and reminisce and share with each other how our marriage has shaped and changed us. Here is what we discovered :  

*Marriage teaches you not to compare 

Admittedly I was horrible at this in those beginning years of our marriage. It can be SO hard not to compare your marriage or your spouse to someone else. But over the years we've learned that our marriage is completely unique, who we are together is unlike anything else. We celebrate and rejoice in that! Remembering why you married your spouse and having a vision for your future together helps to keep focus on each other and eliminates the desire to compare to the rest of the world. (*Staying off social media can also help in this!) 

*Marriage teaches you choose your words carefully 

Words can hurt. Dave and I know each other well so we know how to push each other's buttons REALLY well. This is especially true when we're angry, frustrated and tired. But we have found that words can hurt and cut deeply. Some of the biggest pain we've experienced in our marriage has come from when we cut each other with words. We've had to work hard to choose our words carefully, knowing that what we say and how we say it can have a lasting affect on each other and our marriage. 

*Your marriage is not just about you 

When you marry your spouse you're not just marrying a person, but a whole family unit. When you have children, your marriage is no longer just about each other, together you are called to care for a child. Marriage is so much more than just two people, and it can leave a lasting impression to those around you. I think Dave and I have always known this, but the growing years together have just deepened our appreciation of this truth. We're so happy that our marriage not only brought us together but brought our families together as well. 

*Marriage strengthens your character 

Dave is such an incredible person. I am continually encouraged, challenged and inspired by the person that he is. His character strengthens my own and just being around him makes me a better person. He helps me think outside of myself, to think about other people and the world around us. And our own relationship continues to refine and strengthen my character teaching me again and again what it is to love, respect, cherish and learn from another person. Marriage truly helps us to grow. 

*Marriage is a lot of fun 

This one was Dave's and I whole heartedly agree. Marriage is a lot of fun, I mean it's just so much better to experience life TOGETHER than apart. We go on adventures together, we laugh, we celebrate, we rejoice. We've built a business together and are raising a child. We've bought, sold and purchased homes together. We've experienced life and have experienced together and there isn't much more to say than it's just a whole lotta fun:). 

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How long have you been married? What have you learned about each other, about marriage, about life through your own marriage?! I'd love to continue the conversation in the comment box below!!Image by Katelyn James

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by Deborah Parker