A baby truly does change everything and in our marriage that couldn't ring more true. We suddenly have a new schedule, new priorities and new ways of doing things. One of those things being dinner.
In our old home our dining room was separated from the living room by the kitchen. It was tucked away, dark and really the only time we used it was when we hosted Thanksgiving. We often ate our dinners in the living room as we watched the nightly news. And in our defense most of the time it was because we were utterly exhausted but really that is no way to cultivate connective-ness with your spouse.
Fast forward to today. New home, new baby. Now we make it a priority to eat together almost every night, sitting down at a table, in the kitchen. There are placemats and dishes and glasses of water. No iPhones, iPads, or computers are allowed. The tv is often off, and if it's not, it's tucked away with the news on to gives us something to discuss.. And while it doesn't seem like it might, it's made a huge difference on our relationship.
As our baby munches on his dinner or just loudly plays in his high chair, Dave and I talk about our days, get caught up on life and just reconnect with one another. Because don't work together, we have extremely different daily lives and it's incredibly important for us to connect, even just for half an hour each day, and pull our lives back together.
Often, this time around the table is filled with laughter, smiles and pure joy. It's a reminder of all the things that we give thanks for, especially our precious family. It's a time where we can be vulnerable with one another and discuss the things that really matter. Does that mean I never talk about the grocery list or our upcoming travel plans or how Jonathan spit up on me 100 times that day? No, of course every day life is included. But the heart of this time to be with one another, cultivating togetherness.
In your own relationship, find that time. What is your "around the table" moment? It doesn't have to be dinner, it could be a midday coffee break, early morning prayer time or that afternoon phone call. The heart behind the time you make for each other is to demonstrate that the other person matters, that you care about their life, and that you desperately want to connect and grow together. It can be challenging and you may need to sacrifice something in order to make it happen. But make it happen. I bet you'll find that "around the table" moment becomes one that is precious and an important part of the day!